Attending his first meeting

So, I just went to my first meeting. I thought I'd call and let you know."

I was eager to hear about it but didn't want to come across as "too" eager; might scare him from talking. "I'm proud of you. How are you doing?"

Brief pause, analyzing his feelings; "Hard to explain, really. I felt extremely awkward when I first walked in. I really wanted to turn and run, but I decided I came this far; I'll stay until I feel comfortable."

"And did you get more comfortable?"

"Not much. I guess I've got to keep going back until I do."

"Great attitude," I said. "I can only imagine how much courage it took to show up. We've been talking about it for years. What made you finally decide to go?"

"I realized things weren't going to get any better until I made them better. I'm tired of feeling bad all the time. I felt like I was trapped. I was always angry. I was ruining my relationships. It was just time. Any of the above; all of the above, you name it."

"I'm glad you decided to take care of yourself."

"Yeah, I know it's going to be a long journey but I might as well get started. It's not going to get any shorter by waiting, is it?"

I chuckled, "No, you're probably right. So, can you tell me what it was like?"

"Well, there were about 30 people, about five of us were first-timers. I introduced myself when they asked who was new. Everyone said, 'hi,' just like you see in the movies. Then, several people got up and told stories. I sat and listened."

"Hear anything useful?"

"Yeah, several people sounded like they were telling my story, always trying to do everything perfect, getting really upset when other people don't do what they say, blaming everyone else for what goes wrong; you know how I can get."

"Yes I do."

"One guy talked about the difference between peace and serenity. He used a grocery store example. Want to hear it?"

"Sure, I really would."

"He said, 'You know when you stand in line at the checkout and the sign says MAXIMUM 10 ITEMS? You've achieved peace when you see someone in front of you with 12 items and you don't let it bother you.'"

"How do you know when you've achieved serenity?"

"When you don't count the items."

"I like that."

"Me too. I'm tired of counting everyone's items. I've got to take care of my own if I want things to get better."

"How did everyone treat you?"

"Really warm; very, very friendly. Nobody knew me. But they didn't care. They all seemed really glad to see me, shook my hand, welcomed me to the meeting. I felt like I was coming home to family. That's part of the reason I'll go back."

"So, I know it's only your first meeting, but did you hear anything special?"

"Oh yeah, I've got loads to think about."

"What stands out?"

Long pause, "Nothing happens until you ask for help. There are lots of people who will help, but you've got to open the door.