Parents Inhale, Exhale and Relax

There are no parent manuals that come with all the answers. The first rule that you learn as a good parent is to RELAX! Rest assured that whatever problem that your child is encountering, IT IS NOT THE END OF THE WORLD!  

The problem may be new to you and new to your child but the situation is not unknown to mankind. Please understand that in your attempts to do your best as a parent, things will arise. Some of these situations are not your fault and at times they may be your fault. You are not the only one. What makes you a good parent is your desire to find the resources that your child needs to navigate through their difficuties. Here are a couple of tools to add to your arsenal. 

Relax.  If you are anxious when difficult situations arise then you teach your child to react to new and difficult situations from an anxious place. If you don't know the answer immediately--THAT IS OK. Go for a walk, do something fun, relax and take your mind off of the thoughts that make you anxious. After you do this you can tackle the situation organically. When a person is not stressed and anxious they can think more freely and then solutions of how to tend to the children come naturally.

Next, make sure that you create a consistent lifestyle with your child despite how much they and others try to bend your will. Children love consistency. Consistency communicates to your child that they can depend on you to lead them. They can trust you as the authority in their life and ultimately they can and will accept your guidance.

Lastly, it is imperitave for parents to maintain a certain level of confidence in the moment of difficult situations. Your confidence may not be in knowing the complete solution to the problem. It may just be confidence in knowing that you have the ability to figure it out or connect with people that will help you find solutions. When your children see you exude confidence in the moment of chaos this affirms them in their world. Your confidence speaks volumes and reiterates that they can trust you to guide them through difficult moments. Your ability to inhale, exhale and relax in the moment of chaos will teach your child this skill. The ability to relax, be consistent, and exude confidence with your child, in a moment of chaos, will create a basis for positive mental health with your little one.

Some things that you can do to tend to your positive mental health are to seek out support groups, utilize a parent coach or do something physical like jog or go for a walk in order to de-stress.

3/27/2015 7:00:00 AM
Angela Alexander
Written by Angela Alexander
Angela is a pediatric and family therapist who sees some adults. She has experience working with children and adults that have trauma related issues, anxiety, depression, ADHD and more. Theraplay, CBT, DBT and Person-Centered Therapy are some of the modes of therapy that she uses. Angela provides parent coaching and c...
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