Also On Wellness
Posts by Lisa Brookes Kift, MFT
Signs of Abuse Do you feel like you have to "walk on eggshells" around your partner? Are you afraid a lot of the time in your relationship? Is your self esteem being slowly eroded? It's possible you're in an emotionally abusive relationship. Emotional abuse can sometimes be a tricky thing to identify for those in the situation because often the abuser employs tactics that make the other person feel...
1/16/2022 6:00:00 AM
Conflict is a part of life - and oftentimes relationships. The question is how you manage conflict with your partner - and whether you're successful at finding peaceful resolutions - or you do more damage. Resentment is toxic to relationships and unhealthy conflict resolution skills can create a mountain of it. Here are 5 signs you don't fight fair: 1. You name call or make character attacks (e.g....
11/11/2021 9:00:00 AM
As a relationship therapist, I find it interesting that more people don't do premarital counseling. I was thinking that perhaps people are in such a "honeymoon" phase they think to themselves: "We don't need that...we're so in love....etc." This might be true for the moment but what about a few years down the line when the marriage gets thrown a few curve balls? Life has a tendency to do that. I love...
6/29/2008 7:00:00 AM
I've been thinking a lot lately about my previous career and how happy I am to have made the decision to leave it behind. I was very dissatisfied and unfulfulled in the Movie/Television production business in L.A. where I was an Assistant Director. As I look back on that - and my decision to leave it - it was kind of like "Career-Change Therapy." I credit my decision to leave to my therapist at the...
6/2/2008 7:00:00 AM
Life's been throwing me a few curve balls recently and I've been thinking seriously about making priority shifts. It dawned on me that now would be a great time to also begin a gratitude journal. I've spoken to my own clients before about the benefits of a gratitude journal - particularly when things seem bleak or they have a "glass half empty" attitude which is so easy for any of us to slip into!...
5/25/2008 7:00:00 AM
After all that I've written about what to expect in therapy/counseling, whether the process "works" and the like - I got to wondering about what some of the bad therapy experiences people out there have had. Therapists are "people" too who have lapses in judgement, have made mistakes or been downright unethical! Or it might be a matter of personality mismatch. I'm curious to know if anyone is interested...
5/22/2008 7:00:00 AM
I've had interesting social experiences lately when people have learned that I'm a Marriage and Family Therapist...I was at a party last weekend and this guy that I've seen around at similar gatherings came up to me and said, "So I hear you're a shrink?" I politely corrected him, "I'm not a psychiatrist but a Marriage and Family Therapist..." He paused and retorted, "Same thing." My husband was standing...
5/22/2008 7:00:00 AM
How do you know when you're done with the therapy process? Therapists have different ideas about therapy - whether they strictly adhere to goals related to the presenting problem - or they take a more more flexible position where there is room for an ebb and flow of the process. I happen to fall more on the latter side of the continuum and I do so because I've seen more many people begin therapy with...
5/20/2008 7:00:00 AM
There are a lot of aspects to finding an individual or relationship therapist. Everyone has a different priority list ranging from cost, location, education, gender and more. What about whether the therapist has done any of his/her own therapy work? Some graduate schools require their students have a certain number of therapy hours as a client - but many don't. Do you want to work with someone who...
5/19/2008 7:00:00 AM
I've heard people say, "Why should we bring our personal relationship problems to a therapist? We should be able to figure this out on our own." I can understand this position - especially for people who have attached negative ideas to "therapy" or "counseling." The fact of the matter is, relationship counseling works for those who work at it. I tell couples time and time again, if they both are willing...
5/19/2008 7:00:00 AM
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