5 Signs You Don't Fight Fair With Your Partner

Conflict is a part of life - and oftentimes relationships.

The question is how you manage conflict with your partner - and whether you're successful at finding peaceful resolutions - or you do more damage. Resentment is toxic to relationships and unhealthy conflict resolution skills can create a mountain of it.

Here are 5 signs you don't fight fair:

1. You name call or make character attacks (e.g. "You're an idiot.")

2. You use global statements such as "always" or "never" (e.g. "You never listen to me!")

3. You go off topic to a long list of prior examples of the current issue.

4. You use family traits as a weapon (e.g. "You're just like your mother!")

5. You storm out of the house (sometimes leaving the situation altogether is a good idea, but using a structured "time-out" is a better choice so you can avoid your partner feeling abandoned).

If you catch yourself doing any of these things, that's a great place to start, recognizing the issue. Try to stop yourself and regroup. Work on better forms of communication. I outline some great tips here.

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1/28/2019 8:00:00 AM
Lisa Brookes Kift, MFT
Lisa Brookes Kift, MFT is the creator of LoveAndLifeToolbox.com, author of Therapy-At-Home Workbooks® and has a therapy practice working with individuals and couples in Marin County, CA. She also offers video conference and phone therapy to residents of California. Lisa is a frequent consultant for the media having a...
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