Dealing with Grief

At some point or another, everyone is going to experience some kind of a loss, and one of the ways we get through it is by grieving. Dealing with grief may be a new experience for you, but rest assured that people do heal and get better. 

People experience grief in a number of situations, including the death of a loved one, a divorce or breakup or a miscarriage. You may also experience grief after suffering from a job loss, having to move from your family home or after your beloved pet passes away.

Psychiatrist Elisabeth Kübler-Ross determined that there are five stages of grief in 1969 after conducting studies of patients who went through terminal illness. She describes the stages as: Denial, anger, bargaining, depression and acceptance. You may go through any or all of these stages but not everyone needs to experience all the stages to heal from grief.

Grief may manifest itself in a variety of ways. You may feel disbelief and have difficulty accepting what has happened. People often feel a deep sadness, which may be combined with a feeling of guilt, either because you were unable to tell someone something before he or she died, or because you feel survivor’s guilt. In some cases, people feel angry or afraid as they grieve. You might experience physical symptoms, such as problems with sleep, feeling sick to your stomach or gaining or losing weight. 

Keep a Journal

One good method for dealing with grief is by keeping a journal. Use a private journal, either handwritten or on your computer to record your thoughts and feelings. Writing down your thoughts can give you a sense of accomplishment and help keep you from dwelling on the situation. What’s more, as you look back over each dated entry, you’ll see how far you have come along over the days and weeks to come.

Talk with Loved Ones

Speak with your friends and family. Talking about your feelings, especially with people who know you well, can be a great comfort during the healing process.

Participate in a Support Group

Spending time with people who have been through a similar experience can be very therapeutic. For one, you will realize that you are not alone as you hear people telling their stories in the support group.

You can find a local support group by contacting your doctor, local hospital or social services agency. There are support groups for people who have lost loved ones to a particular type of illness, for example, which can benefit you because you have shared a common experience.

Meet with a Counselor

You may prefer to have one-on-one sessions with a grief counselor or a therapist, if you don’t feel comfortable participating in a support group. It’s also good to speak with a therapist if you feel overwhelmed by unpleasant feelings.

It’s important to remember that you cannot rush through grief. For example, you may know someone who has suffered a terrible loss and seems to have recovered after three months, while you are still having a difficult time six months after your loss. Everyone’s situation is different and people process their grief in different ways. Rather than thinking you need to measure yourself against other people who are recovering, be patient with yourself and take the time you need to work through your emotions.