Are You Using Spiritual Bypassing As a Crutch?

When it comes to health and wellbeing, most of us strive to be in a stable place. But this effort can fall into the trap of denial or spiritual bypassing as we try to avoid discomfort, reality and troubling truths. What does that mean, exactly? Spiritual bypassing is the tendency to use spirituality to avoid facing psychological issues. Here's how to identify the signs and resolve the issue. 

Signs of Spiritual Bypassing

Using spirituality to get through life’s challenging times can be extremely beneficial. Many people turn to church or prayer or meditation or tarot cards as guides to get them through when they feel challenged. But when we use spirituality as a crutch or an excuse to avoid true healing or acceptance, it may become a problem.

Here are some subtle signs that this is what we're doing:

• Avoiding responsibility;
• Casting judgment;
• Self-blame; and
• Emotional denial.

The goal of spirituality is to help us get past troubling times without major or long-lasting trauma. But it’s not healthy to brush those emotions under the rug and to use spirituality as an escape instead of a support. Using spiritual bypassing in this way may delay us from seeking the help we actually need to begin healing.

What Are the Main Causes of Spiritual Bypassing?

Spiritual bypassing is a defense mechanism. When we have the attitude that we need to accept things the way they are we sometimes seek to avoid dealing with painful emotions, which may lead to future issues. 

When facing a life challenge, people often turn to motivators through self-help books and videos. In turn, some of those sources may tell them to get well, they must accept what happened and bury their emotions — rather than facing them, working through them, and coming to terms with how they feel through a process. This is a temporary fix, though, that can bury things and lead to a problem that never gets addressed.

Are There Long-Term Effects?

While spiritual bypassing may help in the moment, the long-term effects can be deeply destructive. It may impact our wellbeing and our personal and professional relationships. Bypassing can also induce:

• Feelings of shame.
• Codependency.
• Emotional confusion.
• Tolerance of inappropriate behavior.
• Control problems.

Spiritual bypassing can even be used as a tool for hurting others so it needs addressed right away. This realization should probably be treated as a sign that we may need to step away and focus on proper coping and healing methods.

Create Healthy Coping Skills

When facing life’s challenges, it's important to remember that healing takes time, and there is no overnight resolution, however much spirituality can sometimes convince us otherwise. It’s wise as a long-term investment in the self to create healthy coping skills. We should all know that:

• Negative feelings can serve a purpose.
• It’s ok to embrace issues head-on.
• Feelings aren’t right or wrong; they aren’t value-based. 
• Destructive behavior, such as drinking or drugs, doesn't help in the long run, either.

When advice from spiritual leaders or others validates us, tells us that one prayer or a tarot reading or an hour in meditation has healed us, we may feel great. We're done! It's over and we feel better! But this bypassing is almost certainly hampering our wellbeing in the long run. It might be time to take a step back and re-evaluate.

Using spirituality to get through life is beneficial in many ways. Still, It’s important to recognize that sometimes, it can negatively affect us if we begin to bury feelings and cover them up to meet spiritual expectations. Accepting reality and taking it in can help us to avoid even greater problems in the future. 

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