How to Enable Your Kid’s Emotional and Physical Health and Well-Being
If you are a parent, one of the key thoughts that is never too far from your mind is ensuring that your kids grow up to be happy, healthy, well adjusted, and successful adults. I know for me just about everything I say or do, as well as the experiences I see my daughter having in the world of school, peers, and teachers, leaves me wondering about the potential impact these things will have on her later.
Here are three skills our kids need to truly thrive in today’s challenging world.
Emotional Health And Self-Regulation
Emotional health and self-regulation are perhaps the most important and yet the most difficult skills to master. Let me explain. Several years ago I had a mom and dad come to see me with concerns about the emotional functioning of their 6-year-old daughter. She had a difficult time managing her anger and would have big angry outbursts when things didn’t go her way. She would just explode and they had a difficult time getting her to calm down.
After reviewing the intake forms the parents had completed, I quickly realized why. When asked, “How does the mother handle anger?” the answer was “simmers then explodes." When asked, “How does the father handle anger?” the answer was “simmers then explodes.” I asked the parents if they thought it was a coincidence that their daughter handled her anger in exactly the same way they did. They were stunned.
Kids generally don’t have built in “instruction manuals” to go on so they need guidance from parents to teach them how to manage their emotions. But what many parents fail to consider is that their own behavior far outweighs any teaching they’re doing through words IF the words do not align with their actions. You see, kids are paying attention. So don’t yell at them to calm down, TEACH them HOW. How do YOU calm down? What is the most appropriate way to calm down?
Remind your kids that no one is perfect. Open up and share some of your own struggles. Apologize when you are wrong and don’t expect them to be experts at things YOU are still learning how to master yourself! Tell them mistakes are inevitable, but that you can always figure things out together. This will help you form a deeper connection so they feel comfortable talking to you about their struggles.
Most of all, reassure them it’s not a sign of weakness or failure if they have to reach out for help.
Importance Of Having Fun
Yes, I know what you’re thinking, “All my kids do is have fun! That’s the last thing they need help with!” But the reality is that teaching kids how to enjoy and take care of themselves is a skill like any other, and one that gets harder and harder as we grow into adulthood. One thing many kids expect is for their parents to entertain them.
Having them learn how to play by themselves and how to initiate play with peers are vital life skills. Talk to them about how to start conversations with new peers. In this age of technology, scheduled play dates, and structured games and play, kids may fail to learn how to be creative and imaginative in their use of time and space.
Physical Health and Self-Care
Self-care through personal hygiene, nutrition, exercise, and physical well-being starts in childhood, but not necessarily in the way you might think. Getting kids to eat all their veggies or teens to participate in an after-school sport is not the name of the game here.
Sure, eating right and exercising are important, but your ultimate goal is to set your kids up with positive feelings and associations about staying fit and eating well. That’s what will make them veggie lovers for life and keep them lacing up those gym shoes long after they move out of your house.
To develop their love of health and fitness, try the following:
- Make moving fun. Create games or challenges to get everyone moving. Have a dance party, run a relay race, or go on a family hike.
- Model the behaviors you want to see in your kids. Remember that if you say “broccoli is gross,” there’s no way they will want to eat it either! On the other hand, if they see you running a 5K, they will know they can do it too.
- Embrace their activity style. Not every kid is a natural born athlete, and that’s okay. Find what works for them, and gently encourage making it a habit.
- Get them cooking. Involving your kids in cooking and food preparation is one of the best ways to get them excited about nutritious food and keep the lines of communication open as they grow.
For more tips, visit www.askdrsamantha.com.
