Like it or not, dating is a game. Play your cards right and you can land a great guy!
Do men seem unattracted to you? Do men hardly ask you out for a second date?
Maybe you ask yourself (as I once did) …
Why do men desire, respect and pursue some women and not others? What is the magic allure that causes a man to prefer a woman over his buddies, fall in love and seriously consider marriage?
I believe that most men truly are looking for a genuine relationship with the right woman, and while some men’s main interest is scoring sexually (and you can usually spot these men easily), the majority of men basically respect and value women. Sexual compatibility is important, but that's just one component to making his attraction list and maintaining his interest.
Psychology Today reports that it can take only seconds to fall in love. That feeling affects a dozen areas in the brain and releases chemicals that create a euphoric feeling. However, a long term connection and relationship will need to sustain the test of time where this euphoric feeling is replaced by other critical connections and emotions.
Behold: 7 vital qualities that keep a quality man in HOT pursuit:
1. Have True Style
Men truly are visual creatures, and they're drawn to a woman's polished appearance and femininity. The primary visual factors that get a man’s attention are your eyes, what you’re wearing, your hair, your perfume and, depending on his taste, your body shape.
After that, quality men are looking for more vital and enduring traits.
2. Be Warm and Approachable
Eye contact and a smile are powerful flirting tools that capture a man’s initial attention. A quick glance, a soft smile and a slow look away lets a man know you're interested. Casually glimpse at him now and then, catch his gaze, touch your hair and look down. One study showed that it takes 13 glances before the average guy gets the courage to approach a woman.
3. Always be Your Authentic Self
Men really do want to make an emotional connection with a woman. According to eharmony.com, it is one of the most important factors in the development of a long term bond between two people. Authentic means you share your true thoughts, you truly listen to what he is saying, and you’re not afraid to show your vulnerable side and share your flaws. A woman who is authentic is in her best self, and your best self will bring out the best in a man.
4. Be Your Own Person (With Your Own Interests)
You're busy, successful and self-reliant. You love your life, enjoy your career and you have your own interests and hobbies. You have solid relationships with your family and friends, and you’re socially active. These should not be placed on a shelf when you enter a relationship.
You don’t need a man to complete you, but you would welcome and enjoy the right man into your life.
5. Keep Your Attitude Positive
In the beginning some men just want to have a good time. They might be as nervous as you are about whether this "will work" or not and they could get turned off if you're too serious too quickly. If you are upbeat and engaging, a man can have fun spending time with you, he can truly enjoy your company and the connection between the two of you can happen more easily, as you are enjoying time together. If you're authentic he's more apt to relax and show you his true self, which makes him want to spend more time with you. A light-hearted attitude is an indicator that you're easy to get along with — even when the relationship gets serious.
6. Maintain an Air of Mystery
A woman who doesn’t immediately reveal the intimate details of her life intrigues men. Women who divulge their entire hurtful past and personal problems on the first date (or second date) will dilute their attractiveness and allure (picture getting a drink of water from a fire hose, don't fire hose him; and if someone fire hoses you, beware). A tinge of mystique can challenge a man's prowess, making him want to know you better. But don’t act evasive or play jealous mind games because then he won't trust you and will pull away.
7. Don’t Rush Into Sex
It’s the allure of sex (the first time) that inflames a man’s desire to pursue a woman. Saying “no” to sex in the early stages of dating is not a manipulative ploy, it simply means (in addition to protecting yourself from STDs) that you understand that in the early stages of dating, a man might be thinking with a body part other than his brain or his heart (remember, he is wired this way - no fault of his own to be sexually attracted to you). You may fall in love quickly but men need time to develop feelings and trust for a woman. When you cave in for sex too soon, he may (I repeat, may) lose interest and respect for you and his motivation for the chase.
Keep in mind, this is simply a guide to go by. Not every man is the same and not every woman is the same. I make some gender generalizations in this article because in my career and experience that has played out and shown true for so many. Please don't be offended if you don't quite fit the characterizations made here.
Don’t blow your chances to gain the serious pursuit of a wonderful man. Learn the attitudes and behavior that will attract (and KEEP) a man's sincere interest in my Dating and Relationship Trilogy book set. If you like what you read here please feel free to sign up for my newsletter and receive more strategies on what sparks AND KEEPS a man’s interest at www.knowitallnancy.com. And please share your experiences below in Comments; everyone's shared experiences help others.