Save Your Relationship Before It’s Too Late
by Jeff Forte
I have seen couples fight about who brought more baggage into the marriage, who left the refrigerator door open and other petty things. If you are fighting about who is more right, the argument will escalate and no one will ever win. Even if you think you won, you will feel bad because the other person is miserable.
Your relationship is guaranteed to suffer with escalating disagreements
If you find yourself in a similar situation, soften up, and lighten up. Think about the bigger picture:
Why are you with this person? What do you want your life together to be like?
Doing this will get you out of your head and give you access to the wisdom of your heart. And you will know what to do next. As you immediately shift your tone, you will have gotten out of that head of yours that wants to prove you're “right," and accessed a deeper truth within your heart and why you love this other person.
It might just save your relationship.
11/11/2014 10:00:00 PM
Written by Jeff Forte
Jeff Forte CSIC, CME author of The 90-Minute Marriage Miracle and founder of PEAK Results Coaching is an Executive and Peak Performance Coach specializing in team and relationship dynamics. His clients include Fortune 500 Executives, Business Professionals, Attorneys, Surgeons, Professional Athletes, Teams and Couples. F...
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Website: http://www.90minutemarriagemiracle.com/
Comments
http://www.wellness.com/blog/13270121/save-your-relationship-before-it-s-too-late/jeff-forte/page-3
Conversations can be tough, especially with the daily stress of job, kids, parents, household and cars breaking down and other expectations, but the main thing is to take a breath and give yourself a second to re-center and remember why you love this person. After 41 years and 4 children, I don't know how my husband still is hanging in there with me.....he does a lot of deep breathing!
Posted by Mom of 4
http://www.wellness.com/blog/13270121/save-your-relationship-before-it-s-too-late/jeff-forte/page-3
... my darling wife - early in the relationship - made it clear I had "choices" to make - was it more important to be "right" - or happy - and I'm at the age that I don't give a darn about being right any more - and we're very happy !
Posted by Rus
http://www.wellness.com/blog/13270121/save-your-relationship-before-it-s-too-late/jeff-forte/page-3
After 56 years in a loving relationship and 51 years in marriage I have learned the two most important words in a marriage are "Yes dear." All kidding aside, the only advice I can give is never attack the person in response to a disagreement. Stick to the issue and THINK before responding. Be open to another viewpoint before dismissing it. Time is your friend; you can always think about an issue before responding. It helps to have a spouse who knows you better than you do.
Posted by Jack Bynes
http://www.wellness.com/blog/13270121/save-your-relationship-before-it-s-too-late/jeff-forte/page-3
I'm on my 9th year of marriage. It takes a while to learn to just let things roll of your back and not sweat the small stuff. My wife is a lot better than me at this. Luckily she has taught me and now when things get "heated" we end up laughing thinking, "Why are we arguing again". Gotta learn to not sweat the small stuff.
Posted by EM
http://www.wellness.com/blog/13270121/save-your-relationship-before-it-s-too-late/jeff-forte/page-3
Totally get this situation here... So many arguments that could've been adverted in the past. Always keep calm and remember whats most important for sure...
Posted by snolan760
http://www.wellness.com/blog/13270121/save-your-relationship-before-it-s-too-late/jeff-forte/page-3
Wow this must be pretty typical? I can relate. Thanks for the article
Posted by Jolene
http://www.wellness.com/blog/13270121/save-your-relationship-before-it-s-too-late/jeff-forte/page-3
This was recently a potential situation arising after just 3 months into our relationship. I had to stop in the midst of the argument to allow my eyes to well up, and that immediately caught his attention, which in turn softened both our tones, and it hasn't happened since!
Posted by TJ
http://www.wellness.com/blog/13270121/save-your-relationship-before-it-s-too-late/jeff-forte/page-3
Thanks for the article and the reminder!
Posted by John Valenty
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