Also On Wellness
Posts by Roni Weisberg-Ross
Selfishness has a negative connotation in our culture; but it’s not selfishness, it’s a lack of empathy that hurts others. While I am no Ayn Rand acolyte, I do agree with her argument in “The Virtue of Selfishness.” Taking care of oneself is not only reasonable; it is necessary – necessary for survival. But our culture has placed a judgment on taking care of oneself – as if taking care of yourself,...
10/1/2021 8:00:00 AM
This past weekend I read an article in the New York Times Sunday Magazine entitled “To Catch A Rapist.” It highlighted the work of a dedicated inspector and some of her colleagues in the Special Victims Unit of Law Enforcement in New Haven, Conn. and the repeated roadblocks they come up against trying to prosecute sexual assault cases. It was powerful and informative and I would encourage anyone reading...
2/4/2016 8:00:00 AM
Abusive situations in families do not happen in isolation. It is neither bad luck, nor is it the fault of the victim of abuse. Abuse happens within a culture of abuse. There is something that is handed down over the generations that encourages those who abuse and allow those around the abuser to ignore what is happening. While the abuser is certainly responsible for his/her actions, there are other...
6/2/2015 9:00:00 PM
How would you know if you were the only sane person in an insane asylum? Now imagine yourself as a child with no prior knowledge of what is sane or normal. How would a child know if they were a sane person in a family with disturbed parents? A significant part of the trauma of growing up in an abusive environment is that children do not understand what is happening to them or why. They understand that...
2/28/2014 8:00:00 AM
When we think of children who have been sexually abused, we think of fear, anger and violence. Most sexual abuse survivors talk of the terror and disassociation surrounding the abuse. Many still feel that way as adults and don't enjoy sex now, even in a loving relationship. But there are those who have a more complicated story to tell. These survivors may have hated their abusers but experience an...
12/21/2013 8:00:00 AM
When we feel different than the person we are projecting to others,it can cause stress and sometimes shame. Most of us have felt that way at times, and the ability to integrate again is usually fluid. But when we feel fragmented and fake most of the time, it can be extremely painful and debilitating. The desire to feel centered and authentic is a healthy longing. For those who have either come from...
12/21/2013 6:55:01 AM
Let's begin with the statistics - and they are daunting:Approx. 1 in 4 girls & 1 in 8 boys are sexually abused before the age of 18. Even the most conservative estimates put it at 1 in 6 girls & 1 in 10 boys. It is estimated that as many as 40 million Americans - one in six people - experienced sexual abuse as a child. Child sexual abuse is seldom a one-time occurrence - it lasts an average of 1 -...
12/21/2013 6:54:39 AM
Our bodies cry out in two ways - either through emotion or illness. When we understand our body's pain we articulate it. When we can't understand it, we are overwhelmed by emotional and/or physical sensations. And we feel powerless. While we need to understand what is happening to us, we may not always find the answers. But we can make peace with our emotions, just as we learn to make peace with other...
12/21/2013 6:49:33 AM
The following is not an article but some preliminary thoughts on what may be expanded into one later on: I've been experiencing a lot of counter-transference lately with my clients over "the other parent"; especially when the other parent is the mother. You may be wondering who I'm referring to when I say the other parent. I'm referring to the parent who is not molesting their child in a household...
12/21/2013 6:48:58 AM
Over the years I've discovered that a significant proportion of adult clients who present with depression have a history of childhood abuse. The abuse may have been sexual, physical and/or emotional. At first I attributed this to the fact that I specialize in abuse and many clients who come to me saying they are depressed are using that as a presenting issue because they aren't ready to discuss the...
12/21/2013 6:47:38 AM
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