5 Marriage Myths

With the divorce rate around 45% it's no surprise that many couples want to do everything they can to strengthen their marriage. The problem is that many couples believe certain myths about their marriages and spend time trying to correct the wrong things. Our time is very valuable, imagine wasting it trying to fix things that don't need fixing?

Below are 5 of the most popular myths concerning marriage and why they really don't "hold water:"

  1. Your marriage has about a 45% chance of ending in divorce. While this is statistically correct, it doesn't mean that it applies to your marriage. You can strengthen your marriage by doing simple things together that will create a bond that lasts a lifetime. In fact, couples that take a walk together each evening and have a "date night" every week are much less likely to get divorced than the average couple.
  2. Your spouse is your best friend. Actually your spouse isn't supposed to be your best friend - that would be boring. What makes a marriage sizzle is having a partner that has enough in common with you while also possessing other qualities, both frustrating and fascinating. A best friend is someone who is usually similar to you. They aren't different enough from you to inspire the passion that you'll want in a marriage. Therefore, don't be surprised if you have more in common with others than with your spouse. This can be a good thing!
  3. Don't go to bed angry. Sometimes it's best to resolve a conflict immediately. Yet there are other times when this isn't possible. Some conflicts take longer to resolve than others and trying to "fix the problem" before you go to bed can often lead to the problem simply being ignored. Instead, promise to finish the discussion the next day and make time for the difficult conversation. It isn't easy to be with your spouse when they're angry, which is why couples often try to minimize conflict. Great couples get angry with each other, but they continue to discuss a problem until there is a solution, even if it takes several days.
  4. Don't fight in front of the kids. To be honest, this is horrible advice. Children who never see their parents "fight" don't learn how to handle conflict. They tend to avoid disagreements in their own (future) relationships and assume that their parents never disagreed. It's not bad for parents to disagree in front of their children, so long as they do so in a polite and safe manner. This means no threats, name calling, or violence. Handle yourselves like civilized adults and teach your children how to handle disagreements successfully. Children will learn that you can love someone while also disagreeing with them. This understanding actually makes them feel more secure.
  5. Having a baby brings you closer. Whoever thought this up has never had children. I'm not saying children aren't wonderful. I have 4 myself and they are also a lot of work. The first few months after a new baby arrives are exhausting. It is a mixture of wonder and stress as parents cope with lack of sleep and the new mom often goes through a period of recovery after giving birth. A baby doesn't cause a couple to grow closer. Instead, the bundle of joy enhances the parents' current relationship. A bitter couple will become even more bitter. Those healthy marriages in which each partner listens and helps the other will find that the addition of a new baby will make them feel more love for each other.

    Although these myths are well intended, they often cause harm to a couple when they try to guide themselves by one of them and it doesn't work out. What is most important in a marriage is simply each partner's willingness to care for their spouse. They may not do it perfectly, but when each person feels that the other one genuinely cares, the marriage will thrive even when they don't follow a checklist of things to do.

    Click here to see more of Bob Grant and his work as a Professional Life Coach.

    Sources:

    https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/living-single/201702/what-is-the-divorce-rate-really
11/19/2022 5:00:00 AM
Bob Grant
Written by Bob Grant
Bob Grant, L.P.C. is the author of the bestselling relationship book, “The Woman Men Adore…and Never Want To Leave.” For the past 20 years he has provided unique and powerful insights for thousands of men and women in over 50 different countries.
View Full Profile Website: http://www.relationshipheadquarters.com/

Comments
Women are like a black widow spider. Once they have that child, its over for the man. They have the man bye the short hairs. The woman got what she wanted - her child to care for her, once the man runs himself into the ground travelling to work at stressing at his job. During a divorce - the man is kicked out of the house he is paying for, while the woman quickly finds a new man to care for her and her child. The woman will not re-marry, making her ex pay ALL the bills. The LAW is set up to screw the man. Lawyers know who makes the money and has savings - the man. The lawyers bills get paid and the man gets screwed. If divorce law was set up fairly, women would think twice about having kids. God forbid, the woman gets kicked out of the house and has to GET a J.O.B. !!! Women cant function because they have mental health issues that don't allow them to get a good nites sleep. Women are always exhausted and yawn all the time. Woman that have to work, are cranky and miserable. My ex hid her severe alcohol problems from me for 11 years. Quit her Wall St job and wanted to volunteer at dog shelters. That was just a rouse. Found out, she was not going to the dog shelters to walk the dogs. Requested that she get a job on Long Island at Computer Associates at she went mental. All HELL broke out in my dream home. My ex would have chopped off her right arm, before going back to work. The cops knew us bye our first names bye coming to the house every 1 to 2 months (for 5 years) due to craziness breaking out. Men, carry a digital recorder in your pocket walking in your home. The woman will LIE to the police when they arrive. Men, be the first to call 911 when trouble starts. The police give the person a better shake, if they call 911 - first. Men, if she has any addictions - RUN. 90% of addicts can not reform. Men, make sure that you wait many years before having kids. Make sure that you know her. Even better, that she is a hustler and wants to continue working. She has goals in life. Not, that she just wants to watch TV and get fat. Women love to stuff their face with food. Tell them, that they are getting heavy and your sex life is over. They start to become bowling balls in their 40's. If they don't love themselves, you will not be loved. Most, put themselves FIRST. Men are a distant 3rd or 4th. Way past her children. They are always looking to better their life with a man who makes more money. Social media sites makes it so easy for them to look up their old boyfriends. It is ALL about money to them. Women love to spend money - your money. Sorry women, it is the truth. You are always looking for a MEAL TICKET, so you can sleep all day and watch TV.
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Posted by Ipsitaroy
When only one tries to work at it and only cares about what his needs are, then the other myths don't matter. It's when only one is working or trying to work things out that marriages will most likely end.
Posted by gen
The myth that being married means more sex. The reality is that wedding cake often kills the female sex urge. Must be something in the icing?
Posted by Tim
It's is a like a job. You have to work at it. To make it work.
Posted by Bozo
hi, Im really agreed your myths and its fact that marriage couple should keep in mind to make there life successful.
Posted by rocksy4u

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