What Is a Soul Mate?

Soul Mate

There are about as many definitions of soul mate as you can imagine. We've been trying to define this term for literally thousands of years to no avail. I'll try to cut through the confusion by offering mine.

A soul mate is a person with whom you feel a deep connection that may even defy logic.  For example, a soul mate can be a close friend who lives a very different life than yours, yet you pick up the old thread instantly no matter how much time has passed since your last connection. A soul mate can be a friend, lover, family member, or mentor.

In love relationships, the term soul mate includes a sexual connection, often infused with intensity. Many people describe their soul mate as the person who got away and can never be replaced. This idea of only one soul mate (lover) who perfectly matches can be problematic.

The reality is that you can connect deeply with many people. With an open viewpoint about love and soul mates, your heart is available to move on and find someone new with whom you can have a very meaningful connection. It won't be like the last one because every relationship is unique, like a fingerprint.

The paradox is that sometimes these very deep and intense soul mate connections are not emotionally healthy because they are not grounded in real life. Couples often describe themselves as soul mates while in the throes of the enchantment stage of love. Those same couples often blast apart later when they re-enter life and discover that they cannot permanently meet each other's every need. Disappointment and hurt follow, and the relationship becomes unstable.

A far better goal is to search for a Soul Partner, someone with whom you share life values, goals, visions, and basic compatibilities. With a Soul Partner, you form a real commitment. That becomes your foundation from which to grow, often by triggering one another. But triggering can lead to healing, and Soul Partners are dedicated to helping each other heal and grow.

Learn all about Soul Partnering and how to nurture your connection through powerful, loving communication in my book, Soul Talk. You can view an excerpt from my books here.

1/16/2016 10:00:00 PM
Nina Atwood, M.Ed., LPC
The Singles Coach, Nina Atwood, M.Ed., LPC, is a licensed therapist with over 20 years in private practice. Nina launched the world’s first educational resource on the internet for singles, Singlescoach®, in 1996, simultaneously with the publication of her first book, Be Your Own Dating Service. Since then, she’s establi...
View Full Profile Website: http://www.singlescoach.com/

What a great post, I really enjoyed it and I agree with you, I think you can have a few different soul mates in your life. We all act a bit differently depending on who we are with and our surroundings. I truly believe that my best friend of 12 years is one of my soul mates, we make each other laugh, we have fun together and we offer advice when it's needed and when it's not. When she is down I do my best to comfort her and raise her spirits and she does the same for me. I have a few people in my life that I consider to be a soul mate of mine and me of theirs. I think it's important, people always say don't put all your eggs in one basket so why would I only let one person be my soul mate. I think our soul consists of a few different parts, so to me I need a soul mate that can match and contribute to each part. A soul mate should help you become a better person, understand you for who you are and not try and change you and love you unconditionally.
Posted by Mareesa
I really enjoyed reading about this, but I think you are forgetting about the more "religious" definition of a soul mate, which is more restrictive. Since Eve came from Adam's rib cage, technically, there is really only one man we, women are made for, our soul mate. Each woman can only fit into one man's rib cage (as weird of a picture as this is...)and vice versa, so we can only have one soul mate... It's a faith, you have it or you don't, but it is definitely another way to look at this.
Posted by LOLOPUSA
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