Cheating In Kid's Sports - A New Perspective

Some years ago the Josephson Institute of Ethics reported their findings on the ethics of children in sports. The results? As reported in the Toronto Star, children who participate in organized sports "are more likely to cheat in school, are learning from their coaches how to best cut corners and are more open to forms of bullying as a way to motivate people."

How could this be? The prevailing thinking has always been that sports build character. It's a prime reason why parents enroll their children in organized programs.

But this is not the first study to confirm that organized sports, particularly in this age of winning at all costs, can be detrimental to a child's character development. Consider this: Other research shows that long-term participation in sports results in the display of less sportsmanship and more aggressive behavior, and that even if athletes learn some pro-social behaviors on the field, they rarely transfer them to other areas of their lives. Studies have also demonstrated that competitive children are both less generous and less empathetic than others.

Surely that's not the kind of "character" we want our children to grow up with! Indeed, true character must be taught; it doesn't simply happen because children are enrolled in soccer or T-ball. On the contrary, when other children are viewed as impediments to one's own success, pro-social behaviors aren't the likely result.

Yes, your child is going to have to compete to a certain extent in the "real" world. But the simple truth is that she's more often going to need social and cooperative skills. And when she does compete, no matter how much you may want her to, she's not going to win all the time. But if you've given her unconditional acceptance and an early sense of security, she'll be better prepared to deal with rejection and face problems head-on. And if you've fostered her empathy, altruism, resilience, resourcefulness, and intrinsic motivation, she'll certainly find success in the world.

What do you do if your young child wants to play sports? Because the early years are so important in terms of forming character, you'll want to make sure you choose the right program; and you can do that by researching possible programs and asking three key questions:

1. Will every child have an opportunity to participate?

2. Is the emphasis on cooperation rather than competition?

3. Is the emphasis on fun?

You should also be aware that your attitude plays the most significant role in whether or not your child's sports experiences affect his character. You'll have to promise to behave yourself during and after practices and games. That means that while your child is practicing or playing, you'll keep silent. After, you'll focus your remarks on your child's efforts, and even on how nice it was to be out in the sunshine or to see some of the other parents and children. Concentrate on the positives, and your child won't get the idea from you that winning is all that matters and loss is to be avoided at all costs. Instead, he'll come to understand that both are a part of life.