Lessons from The Stage: The #1 Way to Connect to Your Core Purpose and Inspire the World Around You

I remember once during a short break in a mask workshop in prison, an inmate coming up to me. This guy was huge. He was tattooed all over his body. Let’s call him Mac. Mac also crossed the circle of safety (way before COVID-19), which is an understood rule for offenders to not cross into the space of surrounding prison guards, faculty, or visiting guest instructors. He was standing almost face to face with me, which alarmed a number of the surrounding guards. 

Mac extended his giant hand.
I shook it, afraid not to.
“I want to shake your hand,” he said, pumping my fist. “I want to say thank you.”
“You’re welcome,” I said. “For what?”

Mac laughed. It was a relief to see him laugh. The guards kept a close eye but they let him stay where he was. We’d all crossed the circle of safety a dozen times throughout the morning and I was even allowed to fist bump with many of the attendees, as they had worked hard to earn their time to be involved in the mask workshop.

“If you'd said at the beginning, that this was a workshop about self-love, or loving, or even liking myself, I woulda' raised my hand and said, ‘Warden, get me out of here.’ But you didn’t say that.

Because the truth is, it would take me ten lifetimes to love myself. Let alone like myself. But the thing is, you asked all of us—if I could tell my story for him…I mean, the guy who I need to help…yeah. I can do that. I can totally do that.”

Turns out that the “guy” Mac needed to help was his visiting son who he had just begun to have a relationship with.

“To hell with liking or loving yourself, right, Mac? That will come when it’s good and ready, right?”
“Or maybe not,” he said.
“Or maybe not,” I said. 
“But I can show up for him. My son. I can do that. So thank you.”

Asking anyone who wakes up every day wanting to take their own lives because of rage, shame, self-condemnation, grief, depression, and sadness to love or like themselves is unrealistic…and even, at times, delusional. But finding the love to help and inspire another person…that’s doable. And as a by-product, self love or liking oneself may be possible. But that’s not the immediate goal.

“If you could save a life with the story you’re going to tell today,” I ask inmates, “would you do it? Would it be worth it?” No one has ever said no. Why? Because your story…believe it or not…is never about you.

Tremendous freedom (creativity, a sense of play, a sense of awe, compassion, empathy and ultimately joy) comes to all of us when we can use our stories of pain to help inspire the life of another. To be able to find meaning in your pain and to be able to use that pain to help educate, inspire and motivate another; to show another how to be able to choose a different path in life, moving from imprisonment to empowerment—What could create a greater feeling of joy than literally saving the life of another?

You have the power to do this with your greater story…when you remember that your story has nothing to do with you. It has everything to do with them, your listener. The person who needs to hear your story.

But…

It also has everything to do with you…To make it all about them.
Who do you need to show up for?

If you could save a life with your greater story…the one hidden in the wings waiting to be shared with the world, would it be worth it?

You better believe it is. The world needs to hear your story. The #1 reminder to get you there? It’s not about you.