If you're married then you found the "right one," right? If you have a boyfriend then you presumably found the "right one" as well, true? Not so sure?
If you're dating, well that can be a serious challenge. We go out with all these men trying to find the right “one” and the search for this person is often frustrating and disappointing. Online dating is the new way for people to meet each other, especially if you are over 30. Online dating is like going online shopping with free shipping. We get to read their profiles like we would read the back of a food label looking to see if what we are purchasing is going to be high or low quality. When we go on the date we get to decide "is he a coupon or a ticket?"
A few ways to tell if your man is a coupon or a ticket:
How to Know When He’s a Coupon:
1. False Advertiser: We know he’s a coupon when he shows up and he looks nothing like his picture. We are now stuck having conversation with a man who is not at all what he presented online. Since we are stuck, we at least deserve a glass of wine, to try and enjoy our dinner, and attempt some sort of decent conversation, and then leave. Coupon cashed.
2. The Auditioner: We know he’s a coupon when all he can talk about is himself. He appears to be trying to audition for our play. Meanwhile we are bored, looking at our watches and wondering if he knows there is anyone else at the table. So, we order a drink, yawn, eat a meal, and end with some chocolate. Thank him for his audition, but unfortunately he will not be the lead in our play.
3. The Cheapskate: We know he’s a coupon when he tells us he forgot his wallet or asks us if we would like to go Dutch for the meal. At this point he’s a coupon that has apparently expired. We wasted time and lost money. This is one to delete from your phone, email and all other avenues of communication.
4. The Patient: We know he’s a coupon when all he talks about on the date are all of the problems he has had with his past relationships and women. We have now turned from a hot date, dressed up, to his therapist, sitting with Mr. Helpless. So, we kindly listen, eat our meal, and leave him with a referral to a shrink.
How to Know When He’s a Ticket
1. Mr. Responsible: We have a Ticket when this guy does what he says and says what he does. He is responsible to us and our value right away. He makes sure we have a plan for the night, we are taken care of, he shows up on time, and he treats us like a lady.
2. Interesting: Conversation with a Ticket is endless. It flows in an equitable back and forth manner. He is dynamic enough in himself that he can listen, stay on topic, and hear what we are saying to him. We know he is intelligent, other-centered and has a great sense of who he is as a person. We leave inspired and looking forward to the next conversation because he is interesting. Interesting is sexy.
3. Financially Secure: Tickets have worked hard in life, they have had and survived life’s pains and challenges, he has established himself and takes pride in being a “man.” He is looking for a woman who does not want a handout. These men want women who are established in who they are, women who are also tickets. This creates two independent people who are capable of an equitable and enduring connection.
4. Emotionally Secure: He is a Ticket when he doesn’t want to define and control you. He is ok when other men look at you because he knows you love him. He is secure and happy when you are a rockstar in your career. He is not jealous. He is proud and wants you to be the best you can be. The bonus is he is the one there when you are vulnerable. He is secure in himself and gives you the freedom to be you 100%. He doesn’t need you to shrink to make him more comfortable.
To find a Ticket ladies, you have to be a Ticket yourself. Create a life you love and one you do not need to be rescued from. Keep your friends, your schedule and all the things that make you who you are. If you love yourself, the man can feel it and this is what makes you sexy and appealing. Just as when a man loves himself, you can feel it and makes him sexy and appealing to you.