Also On Wellness
Posts by Sherry Gaba
Nurturing someone, helping them to grow and change for the better, is part of a loving relationship. People in healthy relationships often say that over time, their partner has helped them become a better person. But when nurturing turns into an obsession, it becomes a kind of over-parenting without the growth. The idea of a nurturing obsession is not to make the partner happier, but to make them more...
3/27/2023 4:00:00 AM
There are many different types of dysfunctional relationships. In codependent types of relationships, a common pattern of behavior that can be found is the anxious-avoidant trap. I explain this pattern in full detail in my book, "The Marriage and Relationship Junkie,"and once you know the trap, it is easy to see. Let's take a look...The Dynamics The dynamics of the anxious-avoidant trap are like a...
4/6/2022 5:00:00 AM
Most people have, at some time in their dating past, experienced a pursue-withdraw relationship pattern. This is also sometimes called a demand-withdraw pattern, and it is almost always the female in the relationship that is pursuing as the male in the relationship is withdrawing.The reason for the pattern is a lack of understanding of the emotional closeness, or the connection felt between the pursuing...
2/9/2022 6:00:00 AM
Why do we pick the wrong partners? In my practice as a clinical social worker, I meet many clients, women especially, who settle for less than they deserve because they’re desperate to be in a relationship. What is it that drives some people to believe that having someone (anyone) is better then having no one?Sometimes people who are bad for us seem exciting in a kind of dangerous way. Sometimes they...
9/12/2020 7:00:00 AM
An emotional attachment to another person while in a relationship can be just as devastating to a partner as a physical affair. However, it is also possible to simply have a good friend who shares an emotional bond, without being in anything more than a friendship relationship. But sometimes it's hard to tell the difference.According to the American Association of Marriage and Family Therapy, about...
8/14/2020 7:00:00 AM
We all tend to pair up with people who view the world the way we do; not that they have the same politics or taste in food, but they have the same ideas about what relationships look like and how partners treat each other.Our parents or other caregivers model relationships for us. Sometimes they’re good models that will work well for us all our lives. But sometimes they're not. And when they're not,...
8/13/2020 7:00:00 AM
It seems like a strange contradiction, but it’s not uncommon for people in committed relationships to be lonely. They may miss having a sense of emotional closeness with their partner, or they may just feel a vague sense of dissatisfaction, or that something isn't right in the relationship.When our emotional needs aren't being met, loneliness is often the result. It’s not unreasonable to expect love,...
2/19/2020 8:00:00 AM
There is an old saying about love being blind, and to some degree that is true. When people first meet and are attracted to each other, there is a release of brain chemicals, most notably dopamine and serotonin, which are the feel-good chemicals in the brain.In addition, research shows there are a lot of other senses and physiological responses going on in our bodies. All of these make us feel great,...
12/24/2019 8:00:00 AM
In my new book, "The Marriage and Relationship Junkie," I illustrate a clear picture of how relationship and marriage addiction develop and how people can change the course of the addiction in order to develop healthy, sustainable and positive relationships.One of the big issues noted in the book is the concern about the ability to connect with others online and through dating apps. For a person with...
9/6/2019 7:00:00 AM
I’ll admit, that title sounds kind of like an ad for perfume or positivity or plastic surgery. But you don’t need to go shopping for the one thing you absolutely need to find a great partner. Because—surprise!—what you really need is to know in your heart that you’re just fine on your own.That means you’re secure in yourself, you’ve built a life you enjoy, and nobody else is going to “make you complete.”...
11/10/2018 8:00:00 AM
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