How to Accept Life's Trials

Joseph Campbell, the scholar who studied the parallels of the myths of human history and how they relate to us in modern times, taught that if we are to accept that we are actually here, we must say "yes" to it all. That is, that life has a lot of beauty and harmony, but also a lot of harshness, pain, and death. If we are to exist at peace while we're alive, we must say "yes" and accept the way life is.

How can we accept things in our lives that we consider to be terrible: death, pain, disease, poverty? Well, the Buddha taught that we have two choices in any situation: change it (or leave if an option) or accept it. The things we can change such as our careers, relationships, surroundings, etc. we should do so if it would make us happier. What about the things we can't change like a genetic disease? Well, we have to accept them. If we don't, we cause extra suffering beyond the physical pain from the ailment. In fact, the mental suffering we cause for ourselves is often worse.

An onslaught of mental resistance against what "shouldn't be" makes our situation worse. I'd like to list some "difficult" things I've had to accept in my own life. We all have them. I practiced accepting these limitations of my body and I'm okay with it; not bummed at all. All I can say is "it is what it is."

1. I have arthritis in my back that prevents me from doing some of my favorite activities: running, weight lifting, any competitive sports (football, basketball, baseball, tennis, even golf), and yoga. I've always been athletic, so to no longer be able to do these things is certainly a take away from life. I often wake up sore in the morning. I can't lift heavy objects. I can't even carry my fiancée, so on our honeymoon I won't be able to carry her into our hotel suite.

2. I also have a strained rotator cuff on my right shoulder that is now making it difficult for me to do my absolutely favorite activity which is surfing and I can't lift weights anymore.

3. I have terrible allergies that require me to take medication every day just to function in daily life.

4. I have asthma.

5. I had to defeat a debilitating case of panic attack disorder in college.

6. My childhood had some interesting challenges too, that I won't share here in order to preserve family privacy.

7. I started going bald in my early twenties.

The point of sharing these is not to complain, but to show that I have my share of health issues too. However, I have accepted them as they are instead of resisting them and becoming depressed because my life isn't perfect. I'm no better or stronger than anyone else, and therefore if I can do it, so can others. Not saying it's easy, but I think it's our best option for getting the most joy out of life in the face of trials.

I'll grant that my health conditions are mild compared to some more debilitating chronic diseases, but it's all relative. A person who has lost an arm in battle probably won't be as freaked by a gun shot in the leg as someone who has never been injured at all before.

Here are some things that work for me in accepting all of life's craziness. Maybe they'll work for some others too.

1. I try to see the humor in terrible situations. There is always an irony or something to laugh at; usually just how ridiculous it is that such things happen at all and how much they suck. I laugh at physical pain instead of crying (if possible).

2. I try to see the positive in terrible situations: often some kind of lesson or that they build our character and make us stronger.

3. I try to remember that life is full of these challenges and that there will be better times. That is unless I were given 2 weeks to live; then I'd think about how great it was to have been able to live at all and all the wonderful experiences I've had.

4. When feeling down, I try to think of all the great things in my life (everyone has something good in their life, even if it's just being alive at all). Some examples for me are my loving family, friends, and fiancée, my good health, my fun career, having enough money (if you're reading this, you have enough money too), living in San Diego where I can enjoy the outdoors all the time, my capacity for music, art, science, business, and philosophy, my opportunities to travel the world, and the fact that I'm even alive at all.

Many people who get a health condition get depressed as a result. Depression is certainly a painful affliction and adding it to the pain of a disease is double-pain. I feel sorry for people that have to go through this and I know it's difficult.

For people who are diagnosed with a disease, I think it's important to try to stay positive the best we can. Again, it can be difficult when faced with daily pain or discomfort, but what is our other option? It takes practice, but I think if we put the effort into thinking positive while dealing with illness, we not only heal faster, but we have a better experience of this short stint called life.

Hope this is helpful to someone.