This office has been my primary care for 4 or 5 years. When I first started there, I loved the atmosphere and the attentiveness of the doctor to REALLY listen to my concerns. I felt comfortable and able to talk to them about anything. However, over the last year and half visits have become more and more stressful. I keep wanting to make excuses for the decline in pleasant atmosphere and personable care. Maybe it is the increased number of patients? Or all the new regulations that doctor's face from DEA? Or maybe a combination of both: the regulations and the increase of drug users that come through the doors? The worse thing that has happened to me is that I was told that the Benzodiazepine that I have been given did not show in my urine test. I was given these for an as needed basis for my panic disorder and insomnia that comes with it. I tried to explain that "as needed", maybe I didn't need as much that month? Maybe the drug does not stay in the urine long enough if I take more than 2 - 4 weeks before my visits? He treated me as if I were lying "Time to be Honest here now". My on-going medication was cancelled. I was told that I was not taking enough to need it. While I am sitting in the room in tears from anxiety/panic/ insomnia, I am told " You know this is not a MED issue, right?" What could I do? I said ok.... and had him make me an appointment with the Psychiatrist that has office there. I though "ok, a Psychiatrist will better understand Panic Disorder, that it can come and go. That I have had the disorder under control because when I feel the first symptoms, I had that little low dosage Benzodiazepine to make the attacks lessened so I can use coping skills to control them. I have dealt with this disorder for 20 + years and DO KNOW COPING SKILLS but also KNOW THAT IF THE ATTACK IS NOT LESSENED BEFORE IT PEAKS, IT IS VERY HARD TO STOP. I went into the primary care office twice, the Psychiatrist twice, called on Doctor once, and called Crisis crying and begging for just permission to take a couple of regular medication that WORKED. Because of urine test every visit because I am on Access Insurance, I was afraid to take the Benzodiazepine. I still had some left from the PRN Scripts from previous months. I was told again that I did not need the medication and needed to learn COPING SKILLS. I am embarrassed but I actually was having a panic attack while I was trying to logically reason with the Psychiatrist about my history, my medications tried in the past, and wanted to know WHY I was being treated like this. I became very agitated and I am embarrassed that I reacted. I had not slept in the past 36 hours and i was being told that under no circumstances would they give me any rescue medications; that all I needed was to learn better coping skills. I was having repeated panic attacks and NO sleep. It was effecting my life, my kids were suffering, my finances were suffering, my health in all areas now was suffering because I could not even function to take care of myself. Right, now I am still dealing with my panic without help from my doctors. The Psychiatrist called my meds "my crutch" and I needed to survive without a "crutch". I don't know what to do next all the COPING SKILLS I have learned and use in the past are not working sufficiently to stop the disorder. I feel like all is out of my control and that there is nothing I can do. I can't sleep and I can't think.
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