Resolutions You Can Keep

Resolving oneself to an action of self-improvement at the start of a new year has been around since the time of the ancient Babylonians, who made declarations of things like repaying their debt or returning items to their rightful owners.

While we all start out with good intentions, studies show that year after year, though our confidence may be high, almost a full 90% of us fail at achieving our New Year's resolutions. Maybe rather than making a grocery list of the changes we should make in ourselves, we need to go about it in a different way. After all, many of us resolve to the same thing, year after year, never tasting the sweet smell of success.

Why not look at resolutions differently this year for our first change?

Stop Thinking in Absolutes

It's easy to think of all of the things we should do, but what about the things we could do? I should lose weight, but I could resolve to start treating myself better instead. Stop viewing everything as “all" or “nothing," “good" or “bad." Instead of thinking of our favorite food deprivation and eventual waning commitment to exercise, why not think of how our body is a temple, a wonderland, and commit to wanting to care for ourselves? Some days will be better than others, but slow and steady wins the race.

Email Yourself a Letter

Quietly reflect on the past year, the good times, the bad times, your highlights and your lows. So many things have happened that were outside of our control! But what we can control is how we choose to deal with it. What are your coping mechanisms? Are they healthy? Are they self-destructive? Do you stay in the same rut, year after year, because that's what you have always done or because your parents did it that way?

Nothing changes overnight, and maybe that explains our high failure rate. Where do you want to be a year from now? Answering that question will help define your goals. Write down what you want to see happen, send it to yourself, or print it and use it as a book mark, and strive to make the baby steps required to get there over the next 365 days.

This Year Is A New Book

Put away the hurts and disappointments and failures of the past year. Put down the heavy baggage of bitterness, resentment and lack of forgiveness that has been bogging you down. Start a new book, a new chapter in your life. Resolve to change the voices in your head, telling you can't or you should or shouldn't. Write a new script. Step outside of yourself, and if necessary, fake it 'til you make it.

Encourage Others

It is so easy to become consumed and self-absorbed with ourselves and our problems that it's all too easy to forget about others' struggles in life. Take your mind off your own by giving back to your community in some small way. Maybe your finances aren't what you'd like them to be, but helping at the soup kitchen will surely shift your perspective from one of “poor me," to one of gratitude for all of the things you do have.

By shifting our attitude from a “should" position to a “could" position, we can condition ourselves into feeling like we are gaining something rather than giving up something. Whether it's a food addiction or alcohol, nicotine, or some other unhealthy habit, viewing it differently could mean the difference between success and failure this year.