Wellness Posts by GoddessWithin

Health at Every Size from a Massage Therapist's Perspective

support@wellness.com — Sun, 19 Aug 2012 15:04:55 Z

Wellness.com - Health at Every Size from a Massage Therapist's Perspective by GoddessWithin

HAES from a Massage Therapist's perspective

2012 marks ten years that I have been involved with massage therapy. I have learned - and now I teach - about muscles, bones and ligaments; skin conditions, pathological diseases and postural distortions. As a soft-tissue specialist, I know how to evaluate the body, and to measure the impact of the forces that are constantly affecting it. There is a lot of healing in this field.

As a plus-sized person, I recognize the sizeism that is rampant in the field. Countless institutions and individual practitioners take it upon themselves to equate health and wellness with body weight/shape/size. Plus-sized people are all but invisible in massage trade magazines, literature and advertising, except for the periodically offered special-focus article on "obesity massage" (yes, I am serious).

Worse, there are any number of therapists who are violating their scope of practice by selling nutritional supplements or other tools intended to foster weight loss. Without training or licensure in a related field (say, nursing or nutrition), these therapists are making assumptions at best. I have heard any number of people comment harshly on the size and shape of other people's bodies. These are not appropriate actions, and they don't contribute to creating a therapeutic environment that is safe or supportive.

It can sometimes be depressingly challenging to find a blog, a website, or even a magazine article that discusses health, but does not steer the focus to weight or a related topic. One minute, you're learning how to make a chilly cucumber mask to combat headaches, and the next, you're embroiled in a discussion about how the latest
grapefruit-and-bat-guano diet* can take up to 15 pounds off of you in a weekend.

Yes, this is the health and wellness field - but it is worth noting that our worth cannot determined by the size of our bodies, and wellness means more than the number on the scale. This field should encompass our inclusion of fruits and vegetables in our diets; whether we move joyfully and with abandon; how hungry we are for life experiences and not just, well...roast beast.

Besides which, the number on the scale, or BMI, or whatever other digits are first and foremost in a person's mind - they don't form an accurate image of a person's overall health. A number can only be a reflection of the overall functionality in one area. The problem with making the scope wider than it is, is that we then see a number and panic. Worse, big people are thrown away with big numbers. This is still just about people...remember?

All of this is worth considering. All of us (not just plus-sized people) need to spend more time thinking about what we put into our bodies, since what we put in affects our physical and emotional health. But there's no excuse for making the therapist's office an unsafe space.
When people make it clear that they are counting their calories and their self-worth on the same hand, it is hard to avoid feeling judged...especially for those of us who are living in a plus-sized body. And let's be realistic: not everyone CAN be a size eight. What would that mean? That we have biodiversity in nearly every other measurable arena, but that body shapes, body sizes, and metabolisms should always be identical? It's offensive to
assume that we can all look the same, if we work hard (and the converse: that if we don't look a certain way, then we haven't been working hard). If you're assuming that calories in equals calories out, then tell me this: if someone don't look like you, then what are you saying? The plus-sized person can't follow basic directions (diet and exercise), or that she can't count? Either way, you are making a dangerous assumption.

I don't plug into that system anymore. That cycle of dieting, restricting,
counting, and obsession is too much, and it breeds a really nasty brand of self-contempt. Isn't it time to stop signing up for that?

Health at Every Size encourages us to to move well, eat well, and live well in our bodies, no matter what. Everyone can be healthy, by creating healthy habits right now - every size, every body, every day.

My table is a safe place. All bodies are honored here, without judgment concerning shape, size, age, appearance, or functionality. Massage is about touch and healing; nurturing the vessel that carries us; building a bridge to the self. It is my goal that the time we spend together help you create balance throughout your life, just as our session helps create a balanced body.

When was the last time you felt gloriously beautiful, without reservations? Massage can do that for you...but you can do even more for yourself. Go now and pass it on.

Namaste.

Sign of the Times

support@wellness.com — Fri, 30 Sep 2011 21:12:16 Z

Wellness.com - Sign of the Times by GoddessWithin

When I acquired a QR code recently, my dear friend asked why I was interested in one. It's a nifty shortcut, sort of a graphic signature that manages to send a message.

I love the idea of that. Communication is fascinating, isn't it? Canadian folk-singer Ferron (one of my favorite musicians) has a song titled "Signals and Messages", which is a wonderfully complex shorthand for the ways in which we reach out to each other.

Reaching out to each other is the whole point, really. It's what we're meant to be doing on this rock we call a planet. However many billions of humans there are now, we are all one spirit occupying different bodies. It's easy to forget that we are already connected on a deeper level, especially when our lives are spinning into a whole new vortex of busy-ness.

We have cell phones, pagers, players, and all kinds of electronic devices that beep, trill, and chortle at all hours of the night - is there any place where we are not available, these days? Despite all of these ways to create the illusion of connection, so many of us are still suffering from loneliness and malcontent. (Could we call our Facebook "friends" when we need emotional support? What about the people who follow us on Twitter? Are they available to us in the dark hours, when our spirits cry out?)

We are fast sinking into the season of limited light. When I met a friend for brunch a few days ago, he told me about the different brands of light boxes that are available at Amazon now. For some of us, an external light may be enough to bring us back from the abyss of sinking moods.

For the rest of us, the dark months are a time to focus on our inner light. When we are willing to focus on it, we can allow that inner light to grow, healing our spirits and allowing us to be at peace with ourselves. That inner peace can help us to accept our own selves, to embrace the dark places where we are fractured; to begin to make ourselves whole.

Part of that process of healing lies in the reaching out we do to share ourselves with other people. We don't have to wait until our lives are perfect, or until we think we are in perfect balance, or at peace. All we have to do is share ourselves - right now, right where we are.

If we intend to invest in the process of our healing, then we can begin by seeking the silence. Yoga, massage, meditation, and Reiki healing are just some of the ways that we can build a bridge to our powerfully silent inner selves.

Instead of wondering when or how, perhaps now is the right time to start. After all: Who knows what gifts that silence has to offer?

Fear in the Face of Natural Disaster

support@wellness.com — Sun, 28 Aug 2011 12:41:18 Z

Wellness.com - Fear in the Face of Natural Disaster by GoddessWithin

We recently survived two natural disasters together. (Remember, we had an earthquake several days before that hurricane.) Natural disasters highlight our powerlessness, which makes them exhilarating and terrifying.

I have lived in California, where there are earthquakes, and North Carolina, which is home to tornadoes, as well as in Florida, which has an entire season when hurricanes are likely to take place. In each of those places, representatives of the media went out of their way to impress upon the public what colossal disasters were just around the corner, on their way, or were presently crushing us. Of course, I understand that it's their job to make certain that we are aware of the risks inherent in extraordinary circumstances. It's just that pretty frequently, representatives of the media make an act as simple as riding the bus seem to be an irresponsible act; one which is fraught with danger, in addition to being borderline impossible.

While we are fortunate to have the media as a vector to pass along information, I think it's important for us to unplug the message from the emotions. It's the emotions that get us into trouble.

Most of us are perfectly willing to move into fear when an authoritative source - in this case, the media - tells us to do so. The fear is intended to make us easier to manipulate. Sometimes this is good. For example, if we need to purchase supplies or complete an action step, it's good that we're spurred into action. Fear does that. (But this is not so good in other kinds of relationships, such as an employee-employer relationship. More on this in another article.)

The problem is that the emotions outlast the actions that we invest in. Long after we have gone to the grocery store, the hardware store, the craft store, and all the other places we need to go and buy supplies - after that, when we are in our safe places, the fear continues to move in us...continues to control us.

It's important for us to find ways to come back to ourselves, and reclaim control of our actions. Of course, control is illusory. We all understand that. But we can step forward and willingly take charge of that which we can control.

In the same manner, we can choose to live in something other than fear. I had an acquaintance once who explained the emotion to me as False Evidence Appearing Real. When fear is the lens that we're seeing through, it makes everything look murky and distorted. Choosing to let go of the fear is choosing to live fully in the present moment, to accept the emotion as part of the background noise, while we come to a new understanding that fear may be present, but it is not important.

Our consciousness is the important element. Our thoughts, decisions, our actions are our gift and our responsibility. These are also the tools that can we can use to shape our lives and our experience. This is powerful stuff, and fear robs us of our ability to command the fullness of it. When we step away from the fear and into our current ability to take action, we are making a difference.

Whether the thing that's about to fall on our heads is the roof or just a little bit of rain, it's helpful if we remember to keep it in perspective. The universe is a massive place, but the gift is that we are given is the chance to make choices that will allow us to shape our tiny corner of it. We can only do that if we choose - willingly and whole-heartedly - to step away from the fear, into the fullness and possibilities that life holds.

Why I Left Facebook

support@wellness.com — Mon, 16 May 2011 22:36:30 Z

Wellness.com - Why I Left Facebook by GoddessWithin

Why I Left Facebook

I just deleted my Facebook account. While it is true that I spent quite a bit of time considering this - an action I started considering in the dark of 2010 - I thought I was going to feel uncertain about it at the end. When it came down to it, I didn't think I would be able to hit the 'Delete' button.

But I did...and boy, did it feel good.

Despite the seminars I attended and the well-meaning friends and family who shared their views, I just couldn't keep up with Facebook. Weeding out the Instant Messages and emails was too much for me. Some of them were real, but some seemed to be sales pitches, or read as though they'd been created by robots.

What I learned came down to this: My feelings about friendship and connection are based on more intimate exchanges than what is possible on a site that calls every passerby a 'friend'.

And even though Facebook and other social networking sites are supposed to be the wave of...whatever...I just can't get excited about continuing to participate in a forum that feels more and more plastic. The exchanges are so general...but maybe it's just me. I don't like to share too much in such a public forum. Who knows where the information will end up?

Of course, I know plenty of people who have no difficulty divulging their secrets on Facebook...and what they did the night before...and with whom...and in how many strange places they have bruises this morning. I think something is shifting in our culture. Despite the widespread deterioration of interpersonal relationships, information shared on the Internet is forever. I'm not sure how, but we don't seem to be able to keep that in mind when we type our confessionals on social networking sites.

And many of us are suffering as a result. Students are sanctioned for scheduling fights just outside of school property, employees are losing their jobs for failing to speak highly of their workplaces, their bosses, or their own performance - or sometimes because they divulged one secret too many. I just read an essay written by a woman who said she discovered her husband's long-term affair when his mistress sent the wife a message on a social networking site.

We are losing sight of our boundaries - or perhaps we're recreating them altogether.

But I didn't get rid of my Facebook page because I wanted to make a point about U.S. society in general. I wanted to disconnect myself from the constant deluge of information that created a sense of faux-intimacy that put the lie to relationships that are built on genuine trust and caring.

I want to create real connections again.

"But how will I find out what you're doing?" one friend asked when I told her what I was intending to do. Hmmm. I could hardly stop myself from sighing out loud when she asked me. I reminded her that Alexander Graham Bell once came up with a device that could be helpful, and suggested that she might have heard of it.

"You really need to keep Facebook for your business," my brother opined. A brilliant entrepreneur in Georgia, I understand he knows a lot about building successful businesses. I just can't say that I've had much in the way of feedback when I've talked about what I'm doing with my own business on that site. Even when I have sought volunteers to come to classes that I was instructing (to receive a completely free massage, mind you), I found myself coming up empty. This didn't feel very good to me, on a lot of different levels.

If our relationships have become dependent upon messages that are posted to a public forum, then how can we say that we have much in the way of relationships at all? Where is the intimacy? Where is the sense of connection? I can't help but feel that they are missing. What remains feels very much like the aftermath of a public confession: emotional nudity at its finest. Where is the personal meaning?

It could be the case that I will feel remorseful at some point. Should that occur, Facebook has assured me that I can sign up again with my original information, which they will keep in their databases on my behalf. I would like to think that is sweet, but it just feels creepy...like receiving greeting cards from an ex with whom things ended badly.

But my work - at its heart - is about embodying connections; about moving closer to the self, and recognizing its essence in all of the people we meet. All of the transactions that take place in cyberspace seem awfully far away to me. I would be delighted to see all of what we are doing move closer to where we live.

In the meantime, I will move forward in my quest to create genuine human connections in an increasingly disconnected world.

Wish me luck. I hope to greet you on the path.

Expos and Expectations

support@wellness.com — Wed, 30 Mar 2011 14:44:16 Z

Wellness.com - Expos and Expectations by GoddessWithin

I recently signed up for a booth at my very first expo, the Circle of Light Paranormal Expo, which will be taking place at the Maryland State Fairgrounds in June of this year. I have never seriously considered attending one of these before, because - well, if I tell you why, I have to tell you a secret.

The secret is...it has taken me a long time to accept both my beliefs about the nature of energy, and my abilities. I understand there is no separation. Essentially, everything is energy. When we talk about any specific healing modality from dentistry to plastic surgery to Reiki to intuitive readings, we're just focusing on one portion of a continuum.

I have offered intuitive services since 1995, but I've been in the closet about that to nearly everyone I know. It was only recently that I started thinking about the fact that hiding this ability is tantamount to hiding my light beneath that proverbial bushel. This creates problems on a number of levels, one of which is the energetic level where I'm holding my gift surrounded with secrecy and shame.

I finally started asking myself why. Here's the biggest reason: I've heard more than enough Miss Cleo jokes in my lifetime already, thank you. These are good for a chuckle, but they also leave me feeling dirty somehow, as though I should pretend to have nothing to do with the field just because there are a handful of well-known scammers who pretend to have psychic abilities so that they can cheat, manipulate, and steal from people. I know that I work from a place of honesty and integrity, so why should I worry about people who are doing something different?

After all, there are con artists in every field. It would simply be exhausting to build a practice based on a continuing series of denials - no, I'm not a con; yes, I'm genuine; no, I don't have the winning lottery numbers! - and there's truly no reason to do so.

The best I can do is to put myself forward with honesty and integrity, and to hope that others will put their fears and prejudices aside, and judge me solely by the timbre of my offerings.

Because the truth is that all we have to offer is ourselves. I am looking forward to sharing my truest self with you when we meet.

Namaste.

On Happy Endings in Massage Therapy

support@wellness.com — Sun, 11 Apr 2010 14:29:18 Z

Wellness.com - On Happy Endings in Massage Therapy by GoddessWithin

I recently received an email asking whether I provide happy endings. My answer is emphatically YES.

My version of a happy ending is where my client tips well, reschedules for the next week, tells their friends about me, and walks away with increased range of motion and zero-to-minimal pain, feeling as though they are walking on a cloud.

Perhaps this answer is a little glib. Although I am a fairly sensitive person, I have been in this field for a handful of years. As such, I've developed something of a thick skin around the idea of people who are calling for sex work.

I do believe that we need sex work. It has a place in our society - in every society, apparently, since it is widely acknowledged as one of our oldest professions. (I will, however, freely admit that the loss of the 'Therapeutic Services' category of Craigslist, which is now utilized almost entirely by sex workers, still stings.) Regardless of the penalties, we continue to create a market for this group of services. While we may have a societal need for sex work - that is not the work that I have to offer.

The reality is that we are living in a society that is starving for healthy touch. Because we have experienced such a paucity of touch, and because we struggle with intimacy as a culture, US'ians (a tip of the nib to Barb Kistler, an outstanding woman at Colorado State University) sexualize both touch and touching, as well as the concept of intimacy. This removes the power of that which is a powerful concept.

The truth is this: Any time we enter the energy field of another being with the intention of helping them heal, we are creating a powerful experience. Let us create a place of honor for that understanding.

My table is a safe space for my clients. I want every individual who visits me to feel happy, safe, and cherished during those hours. Through my practice, I am offering many types of change and healing. I work in concert with my clients to help their bodies return to a condition of optimal balance. This is a gift that we share.

This is what I offer at my table: a gift of healing and of balance. Time to find, and create, peace. A return to the center. A journey to the Light.

I'd call that a happy ending. Wouldn't you?

Health at Every Size: Wellness for Every Body

support@wellness.com — Thu, 25 Feb 2010 10:52:48 Z

Wellness.com - Health at Every Size: Wellness for Every Body by GoddessWithin

Ah, the new year. One of the most predictable trends for the beginning of the year is that diet advertisements, fitness programs, and weight-loss medication scams will be everywhere on television, radio, and print media.

And one of the most predictable trends for the fitness program ads is that they will show rooms full of thin, young, fully able people enjoying a workout in perfect harmony. This, of course, is not what actual gyms are like. It is my hope that this is not what we *want* our gyms to be like. Now would be a great time to make our gyms more friendly to every body - and that includes a special invitation to the plus-sized consumer.

There is a wellness philosophy called "Health at Every Size", six of whose basic tenets are as follows:

1. Good health is a state of physical, mental and social well-being.
2. Human beings come in a variety of shapes and sizes.
3. There is no ideal body size, shape, BMI or body composition.
4. Self-esteem and body image are strongly linked.
5. Each person is responsible for taking care of his/her own body.
6. Appearance stereotyping is wrong.

Despite the longtime prevalence of polls and other statistical information suggesting that five pounds over one's desired weight means that you have suddenly entered heart attack country - a new truth is emerging.

The idea of living in a healthy body has more to do with the way we treat the body that we live in, than the size of that body. If we eat well and find joy in movement and in leading a balanced lifestyle, that is one of the best ways that we can live.

Notice that I started that last sentence with the phrase "If we eat well and find joy in movement...". I am by no means giving anyone permission to spend their days wrapped around a palette of Frito-Lay products, and washing those things down with fizzy brown glop. Our bodies were made to be in motion, and, efficient machines that they are, if they find that we are not utilizing our resources, our bodies find ways to consolidate. My experience, as a therapist who helps people to live well in their bodies, has been that it's best to avoid that.

Simple sugars - sodas, chips, candy bars - have immediate access to our bloodstream once consumed. That means that it takes very little time between the time we choose a Reese's and the time we feel the effect...and the time we feel the crash. Complex sugars - fruits,vegetables, agave syrup, etc. go through our body's digestive process. The body processes these foods at a slow and steady pace, giving us constant access to the stability that our systems can experience when we break them down. There's no crash for most of us after we eat an apple - but then, there is no high, either.

The truth is that we live in a culture that can't seem to make up its mind. It's not just that food commercials are everywhere; no, that's not the issue at all. The problem is that we are urged to keep consuming, as though each of us is a bottomless pit of want. Food is not the only culprit; other items are sold in this matter. But when we consume food in the way that the media urges us to do, it has an effect on our bodies. That effect varies, depending on a number of things, including what was happening with our metabolisms at the beginning of the roller coaster ride.

Clearly, I am no nutritionist. I say this to point out a few things:

1. Food choices impact the size of our bodies.
2. Food choices impact the shape of our bodies.
3. Food choices impact the stability of our moods.
4. The ways in which we metabolize foods are individualized. (Example: I have a thin sister. If she eats a candy bar, she just recycles the wrapper and moves on. If I eat a candy bar, I gain a pound.)

And of course, we can find our joy somewhere else. All that the dancing sodas and the coy chocolate commercials can do is entertain us...they don't have to entice us. Despite what those commercials suggest, a burger, a beer, and a fist full of candies are not an instant pathway to nirvana. We can find other ways to joy.

Everyone can find a way. Body size and shape need not stand between where we are and where we would like to be. We start where we are. That's the gift of it.

The Health at Every Size movement gives everyone permission to feel good about who they are, where they are, and to treat our bodies well. This is not a trick or a means of coercion, like the diets of yesteryear, which extolled the virtues of "love yourself - now lose that lard!" It's a simple platform about loving ourselves more right now, today, just where we are...which is always an investment that yields a fine return.

On the Health at Every Size page, you will find some information about the movement itself, some Internet resources, and some contact data, in case you would like to talk with a HAES professional. Go look. It's worth your time.