Do You Expect Too Much From Men Financially?

support@wellness.com — Wed, 29 Nov 2023 05:00:00 Z

Wellness.com - Do You Expect Too Much From Men Financially? by Evan Marc Katz

Finding a deep and lasting connection with an equal partner can be a challenge. As a dating coach, I've seen too many women prioritize financial security over emotional compatibility. I understand why. Historically, men have been the providers and it feels safe to have a partner who makes more than you. The problem arises when, as a woman, you’re already in the 90th percentile in income and only 10% of men make more than you. And that’s before you factor in attraction, personality, kindness, consistency, and communication. You’ve undoubtedly dated successful men who weren’t good boyfriends. You’ve also probably met a few who were lazy, unemployed, and unmotivated. I’m not suggesting you go for either of these types. What I am suggesting is to consider the many bright, hardworking men who just happen to get paid less than you. Given that 40% of women now out-earn their spouses, that’s not necessarily a fatal flaw. Here are four signs that indicate you may be placing too much emphasis on his wallet and not enough on how he treats you. 1. Constantly Comparing Financial Status - If you find yourself unfavorably comparing your partner's income to your own, you may want to reevaluate your priorities. Instead of fixating on your monetary differences, focus on your shared goals, dreams, and values. Fostering this emotional connection leads to more harmony, helping you feel better about your connection. You wouldn’t like it if your partner looked down on you for making less money. There’s no reason you can’t extend that same courtesy to a man you’re dating. 2. Measuring Love Through Gifts - You ever have a man buy you an expensive necklace who turned out to be an insensitive, emotionally unavailable jerk? Of course you have. Gifts are just gifts and spending money is not synonymous with love. When it comes to feeling “taken care of,” pay more attention to the effort behind a gift. A handmade card or a heartfelt act of service can reinforce a connection that leaves both partners feeling cherished. What’s more valuable? A man who listens to you after a hard day without judgment? Or a man who buys you nice stuff but is dismissive of your feelings? - 3. Placing Excessive Importance on Status Symbols - Sure, it’s normal to look at others’ lives on social media and compare yourself. Look, her husband bought her a Tesla! Look, her boyfriend took their family to Italy! But if you seek validation via luxury cars or extravagant vacations, you’re probably missing out what really matters. Confidence in your relationship comes from emotional intimacy and trust, not by signaling to others that your man loves you based on his splashy purchases. We all know a couple that posts amazing photos on Instagram but is actually miserable in their relationship. So, take time to appreciate the small moments that make you feel and valued, regardless of the brand names he can afford. 4. Overlooking Shared Values and Goals - You both work hard to contribute to the household. You both want to save money for the future. You both want to enjoy yourself along the way. But when you make more than he does, it’s easy to lose sight of your shared goals. True love is built on a foundation of mutual respect. The same way men respect their wives because they’re thoughtful, accepting, and nurturing, you can respect your man even if he doesn’t out-earn you. Finding love and maintaining a fulfilling relationship requires more than just evaluating his financial status. It's about fostering trust and connection using all 5 love languages, not just “gifts.” By shifting your expectation that a man has to make more and focusing on a bond built on shared values, you can create a relationship where you feel calm and connected. When you prioritize true compatibility, how you feel with him and not his take-home pay, you can experience a love that lasts forever. Dating coach Evan Marc Katz is the author of 4 books and has been featured in hundreds of media outlets since 2003. His blog - has over 35 million readers, - his podcast - has over 2.5 million downloads and 13,000 women have taken - Love U - , his signature course that helps smart, successful women find love. Click here to subscribe to his free newsletter, Lovesplaining. For more information visit - www.evanmarckatz.com.

Are You Afraid of Ending Up Alone? 4 Signs to Consider

support@wellness.com — Sat, 21 Oct 2023 04:00:00 Z

Wellness.com - Are You Afraid of Ending Up Alone? 4 Signs to Consider by Evan Marc Katz

Whether you’ve dated online, gone through a rough divorce, or been repeatedly disappointed by men, the fear of ending up alone is all too real. While there’s nothing wrong with living your best life as a single woman, there’s also nothing wrong with admitting you prefer having a life partner. Someone to make you coffee. Someone to take you hiking. Someone to plan dinner and pick up the check on Saturday night. Sometimes it feels like there are only two bad choices: to be in an unhappy relationship or to embrace being single forever. I want to posit a third path that leads to greater happiness. Finding a partner who takes care of you and makes you feel safe. If that sounds better than being alone, yet you’re still alone, you’re likely paralyzed by fear. In two decades of coaching high-achieving women, I've seen this paralysis hinder your ability to find love. Let’s explore four signs that suggest you're afraid of ending up alone and my guidance on how to overcome these fears. 1. You Constantly Settle for Less: - One of the telltale signs of fearing loneliness is settling for less in your relationships. You might find yourself staying in an unfulfilling partnership simply to avoid being alone. While it's natural to seek companionship, you shouldn’t compromise your values, needs, and desires just to avoid solitude. Fulfillment comes from being in a relationship where you feel calm, connected, and confident, rather than settling for someone who doesn't value you. How do you know you’re settling? Listen to your feelings. Are you anxious about your future? Afraid to speak your mind? Worried you’re one fight away from breaking up? If so, you must aim higher and choose a partner who makes you feel more secure. 2. You Rush into Relationships: - People who don’t like being alone find new partners quickly. Who could blame you? You’re a little lonely. He’s cute and seems interested. You sleep together a bit too soon. Then the anxiety begins. This all-too-common approach to dating leads to exhaustion. Why? Because you are being chosen by men instead of doing the choosing yourself. Instead of diving into a relationship with a guy you barely know, slow down to evaluate him before you commit. Date multiple guys. Take a month before sleeping together and calling him your boyfriend. Build a strong foundation early and dump men who don’t live up to their early promise, rather than doubling down on a mistake. 3. You Keep Overly Busy: - When you're afraid of being alone, it’s tempting to fill up your life to avoid facing your inner thoughts and emotions. You may not see it that way, of course. You have your work. You have your friends. You have your family. You have your hobbies and travels and pets. Your calendar is packed, and you love it that way. There’s only one thing missing, and it’s a big one, a best friend, lover, and partner-in-crime to share it all. As a -dating coach- for smart, successful women, I gently remind my clients that you don’t make time when you meet the right man. You take time to meet the right man. When you’re working 50 hours per week and traveling 15 weeks a year, you’re not giving yourself space for personal growth or relationship building. If you find you have no time for dating, it’s possible you’re distracting yourself from the fact that, every night, you go to bed alone. 4. You Ignore Red Flags: - When you're afraid of being alone, you may ignore red flags and tolerate unhealthy behavior from your partner. It’s easy to rationalize unacceptable treatment when you're fearful of losing your connection. “He’s busy at work! He’s under a lot of pressure! He may lash out at me - but you don’t understand our connection!” - A healthy, trusting relationship should never come at the cost of your self-worth and emotional well-being. You must learn to set boundaries and prioritize your own happiness if you want to build a fulfilling partnership that lasts. Let’s acknowledge that being alone is not the same as being lonely. There should be absolutely no stigma to being single. But if you feel deeply that you want more, and after all someone has a happy marriage, so why not you?! - There are simple steps to success. Embrace self-discovery, maintain your rich, full single life, and always remember to carve out time in your schedule to create lasting love. Dating coach Evan Marc Katz is the author of 4 books and has been featured in hundreds of media outlets since 2003. His blog - has over 35 million readers, - his podcast - has over 2.5 million downloads and 13,000 women have taken - Love U - , his signature course that helps smart, successful women find love. Click here to subscribe to his free newsletter, Lovesplaining. For more information visit - www.evanmarckatz.com.

Wellness Posts by Evan Marc Katz

Do You Expect Too Much From Men Financially?

Are You Afraid of Ending Up Alone? 4 Signs to Consider