3 Keys to Deeper Connection in Marriage

support@wellness.com — Thu, 23 Nov 2023 05:00:00 Z

Wellness.com - 3 Keys to Deeper Connection in Marriage by Jeff Forte

Why is love so hard for most people? - From my perspective working with struggling couples, it's usually a lack of knowing what to do that allows intimacy and connection to drift silently away. What we don't know is in fact hurting our most treasured relationships. Whether we like it or not, we do model our relationship strategies from our parents and family members. You will ultimately have about the same level of day to day joy that your parents experienced with each other, unless you figure it out or get the right help. Most people struggle. I was one of them until I finally figured it out. I got tired of the stress and strain. Maybe you are tired too. Here's what you need to know that will help right away: - 1. Tell Yourself the Truth - Are you bitter, feeling angry, hurt or carrying resentment towards your spouse? If you are, any of those things will prevent you from giving fully to the relationship. You may not realize it, but you are actually withholding love, compassion, understanding and the chemical energy that builds connection. Since you are now being honest, what are you currently doing that is harmful to sustaining love and connection? The spotlight is being shined on YOU here, because things change when one person does something different. Are you doing something that isn't supportive or helpful to keeping love and connection alive in your relationship? Unless you are perfect, we all do things from time to time that result in a disconnect with our partners. We argue, defend ourselves unnecessarily, put the relationship last behind other priorities, get self-absorbed, and unintentionally neglect our partner. Today, stop doing anything that is hurting the feelings of connection in the relationship. (continue to page 2 of 3...)

Save Your Relationship Before It’s Too Late

support@wellness.com — Tue, 11 Nov 2014 22:00:00 Z

Wellness.com - Save Your Relationship Before It’s Too Late by Jeff Forte

Many years ago I had a conversation with my wife that could have ended our marriage. And I have seen many couples engaged in the exact same cycle of relationship destruction. Here's what happened: - My wife said something to me and I responded back. She accused me of having a “tone." Who, me? - So now I am defending my “no tone." - She now says something back with a “tone" in her voice. So I escalate with more of the same. She reacts raising her voice, and now I respond raising my voice even more. She raises her voice and says something not so pleasant to me. Sound familiar? - So I raise my voice further and say something not so nice to her. Now we are in a real heated argument. About what… I have no idea. This conversation is approaching the threshold of relationship destruction. And fortunately I realize it. What typically happens at this level is that someone says something they wish they didn't say, and the other person says something that can never be forgotten nor forgiven. The words and emotional escalation are devastating to trust and respect in the relationship. As you might imagine escalation can also lead to physical violence. When escalation occurs regularly, the connection can be severed so completely that it cannot be repaired without significant outside help. When trust and respect have been thrown away, intimacy follows them out of the building and the relationship begins to die. Here's how to escape the escalation: (continue reading)

Wellness Posts by Jeff Forte

3 Keys to Deeper Connection in Marriage

Save Your Relationship Before It’s Too Late