Why is love so hard for most people?
From my perspective working with struggling couples, it's usually a lack of knowing what to do that allows intimacy and connection to drift silently away. What we don't know is in fact hurting our most treasured relationships.
Whether we like it or not, we do model our relationship strategies from our parents and family members. You will ultimately have about the same level of day to day joy that your parents experienced with each other, unless you figure it out or get the right help.
Most people struggle. I was one of them until I finally figured it out. I got tired of the stress and strain. Maybe you are tired too.
Here's what you need to know that will help right away:
1. Tell Yourself the Truth -- Are you bitter, feeling angry, hurt or carrying resentment towards your spouse? If you are, any of those things will prevent you from giving fully to the relationship. You may not realize it, but you are actually withholding love, compassion, understanding and the chemical energy that builds connection.
Since you are now being honest, what are you currently doing that is harmful to sustaining love and connection? The spotlight is being shined on YOU here, because things change when one person does something different.
Are you doing something that isn't supportive or helpful to keeping love and connection alive in your relationship? Unless you are perfect, we all do things from time to time that result in a disconnect with our partners. We argue, defend ourselves unnecessarily, put the relationship last behind other priorities, get self-absorbed, and unintentionally neglect our partner.
Today, stop doing anything that is hurting the feelings of connection in the relationship. (continue to page 2 of 3...)