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Recently, after all my issues, health, family, personal, financial, you name it, I've lost it....I was diagnosed with depression.....they're still tinkering with the meds, trying to find what works for me.

I wake up each day and sigh, as I remember all I've lost. I'm doing a bit better right now since being treated for my COPD, because when I have an exacerbation, I feel awful and the depression is worse.

There's good days and bad days of course.

But....do you know what hurts the most when you have depression?

Nobody cares, no one understands. The people who say "if you need anything let me know" are the first people to disappear.

And then there's family, a sister who has not only been a sister to me, but my best friend as well, she wouldn't talk to me when I needed her the most, when the crying wouldn't stop and the pain wouldn't end and the only way I could see to either end the pain or make someone help me was to slit my wrists, she basically said everyone has problems and I need to snap out of it. Well, the thing is I couldn't snap out of it, no one would help me help myself, and I DID want to help myself.

My sister hurt me most of all and I don't know if I'll ever forget or forgive what she did.

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"My art is the screams that go unheard every day. It's the prayers I can't seem to voice. It's the worlds I run to when there's no one to take me in their arms."

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Lainie-

I just read your story and checked out your
awesome site.

I just wanted to say hang in there!

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Thanks so much, I'm tryin', I really am...

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"My art is the screams that go unheard every day. It's the prayers I can't seem to voice. It's the worlds I run to when there's no one to take me in their arms."