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Stumble It!The Baby Borrowers
by DrLauraMarkham
"The babies won't remember the experience, so it won't hurt them." So goes the justification for NBC's new reality series, "The Baby Borrowers," in which babies and toddlers are sold by their parents to be mishandled by teenagers for days at a time.
What year is this? We now have almost a century of research showing that babies and toddlers are impacted for life by early separations, which, by definition, they don't remember.
During WW2, John Bowlby documented the stages of grieving in babies and toddlers who were temporarily left with unfamiliar care-givers, from initial protest to confusion to despair. These kids were more vulnerable, later in life, to anxiety, panic and mood disorders as well as alcoholism. Neuroscientific research in the past five years has documented the permanent brain changes that result from early separations and other traumas and which underlie these adult mental illnesses.
Producers of this show may justify it by claiming they're teaching birth control, but let's be clear: letting these teens sleep in the same bed night after night hardly gives that message. NBC is after ratings. And the parents of these babies and toddlers? They should be prosecuted.
About the Author
Dr. Laura Markham, the Dear Abby of Parenting, is a clinical psychologist who hosts the popular advice column "Ask Dr. Laura" at the parenting web site YourParentingSolutions.com. The New Dr Laura’s positive approach to raising happy, cooperative kids helps parents bypass power struggles using the everyday secret that strengthens the parent-child relationship: limits accompanied by empathy and respect. The Good Dr. answers questions from parents of infants through teens, giving parent-tested solutions you can use every day to connect with your kids and create a richer family life. Her work appears regularly on a dozen parenting sites and in print, and she frequently speaks with groups of parents, both online and in person, about transforming their parenting. Dr. Laura lives in New York with her husband, son and daughter.
What year is this? We now have almost a century of research showing that babies and toddlers are impacted for life by early separations, which, by definition, they don't remember.
During WW2, John Bowlby documented the stages of grieving in babies and toddlers who were temporarily left with unfamiliar care-givers, from initial protest to confusion to despair. These kids were more vulnerable, later in life, to anxiety, panic and mood disorders as well as alcoholism. Neuroscientific research in the past five years has documented the permanent brain changes that result from early separations and other traumas and which underlie these adult mental illnesses.
Producers of this show may justify it by claiming they're teaching birth control, but let's be clear: letting these teens sleep in the same bed night after night hardly gives that message. NBC is after ratings. And the parents of these babies and toddlers? They should be prosecuted.
About the Author
Dr. Laura Markham, the Dear Abby of Parenting, is a clinical psychologist who hosts the popular advice column "Ask Dr. Laura" at the parenting web site YourParentingSolutions.com. The New Dr Laura’s positive approach to raising happy, cooperative kids helps parents bypass power struggles using the everyday secret that strengthens the parent-child relationship: limits accompanied by empathy and respect. The Good Dr. answers questions from parents of infants through teens, giving parent-tested solutions you can use every day to connect with your kids and create a richer family life. Her work appears regularly on a dozen parenting sites and in print, and she frequently speaks with groups of parents, both online and in person, about transforming their parenting. Dr. Laura lives in New York with her husband, son and daughter.
Posted 7/8/2008 9:51:32 AM
About the Author
Dr. Laura Markham
View profile
New York, NY
About the Author
Dr. Laura Markham
View profile
New York, NY
Interests: Children and Families, Psychology, Being Human, Meditation, Yoga
This blog is written by an individual Wellness.com forum member and does not necessarily state the views of Wellness.com Incorporated or any of its affiliates.
Community Comments!
Bryan 7/17/2008 4:31:52 PM
I cannot believe what I just read. I hadn't heard of that show. You are right, those parents should be prosecuted and have their kids taken away from them. Any parent that would do that for some money is not fit to be a parent. That is insane. This country is going to hell.
KathyK 7/17/2008 9:25:42 PM
I tuned in to this show last night by accident and was shocked to see that these parents could see what was going on live 24/7 and didn't do anything when their children were crying or being diciplined by other children. How could they just watch and do nothing? To Hell in hand basket.
raszz19 7/20/2008 9:32:14 PM
I understand how the Baby Borrowers can be disturbing to some. However, it's a good "wake up" call for teenagers to see what it's like to have kids. The concept may not have been executed appropriately but it will teach teens that being a parent is not all fun and games. It's a major responsibility! You may not agree with the show but perhaps teens will think twice about jumping into bed. Rebecca
ewilson 7/21/2008 10:20:55 AM
I hate reality TV. I think it's all garbage, especially when I hear about crap like this on TV. Read a book America! :-)
7/21/2008 5:12:20 PM
It's well established that leaving babies and toddlers with strangers is psychologically damaging, especially when those strangers are not equipped to care for them physically and emotionally. I hear Raszz's point, though, about kids thinking twice before they have babies. I wonder if there is another way to accomplish that -- maybe require every teen to volunteer in a daycare center after school for a semester? It wouldn't get ratings, but it would probably be very effective in accomplishing the stated goal.
It's well established that leaving babies and toddlers with strangers is psychologically damaging, especially when those strangers are not equipped to care for them physically and emotionally. I hear Raszz's point, though, about kids thinking twice before they have babies. I wonder if there is another way to accomplish that -- maybe require every teen to volunteer in a daycare center after school for a semester? It wouldn't get ratings, but it would probably be very effective in accomplishing the stated goal.
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