6 Relationship Regrets to Avoid

We all have things we wish we would have done differently. Many of us regret certain relationship faux pas that ended our time with loved ones too soon. Consider these 6 relationship regrets and how you can avoid them in the future...

1. Denying Your Partner’s Happiness

Relationships are not one sided. You can’t be the only one who’s happy. You need to make sure your partner is happy as well. Denying your partner’s happiness is a surefire way to ruin the relationship; if it’s all about you and what you want the relationship’s days are certainly numbered. Always consider and talk about your partner’s wants and needs.

2. Having Different Values

Have you ever started a relationship despite the fact that you and the other person had different values? It’s never wise to go into a new relationship already knowing that your values don’t align. You need to be in agreement about the “big” things if you want the connection to grow in the right direction. Some areas that come to mind are children/parenting, finances, religion, and career.

3. Not Taking Your Partner’s Family Into Consideration

When you begin to get serious with someone you have to think about what your life would look like together. Your partner’s family is very much a part of that; not taking their family into consideration could get you into trouble down the road. If you don’t get along with them now, that is not likely to change once you get married, unless you actively work on those relationships. You need to be “okay” with their family from the beginning if you want your relationship to thrive without constant and major family drama.

4. Not Expressing Your Feelings

Express your feelings regularly. Ask your partner to do the same. Thousands of relationship experts agree that open and honest communication is a major strength to any relationship. Make sure your partner feels loved and appreciated. Make sure YOU feel loved and appreciated; if you don’t, say something. Not expressing feelings is one of the main reasons couples separate; they leave too many things unsaid and do not offer enough gratitude throughout the relationship.

5. Not Having Your Own Interests

Some couples become so wrapped up in each other that they no longer have time for anything or anyone else. Just because you care deeply about somebody doesn’t mean you have to spend all your time together. Having your own interests and friends are important in a relationship because they allow the two of you to have some healthy time apart. Too few people get that nowadays, but it’s extremely healthy for your relationship.

6. Letting the “What-Ifs” Control You

Too many of us let the “what-ifs” in our relationships guide us. “What if he doesn’t agree with me about this? I don’t want him to be mad.” “What if he doesn't like my friends?” “What if she gets upset because I want to spend time with my buddies?” Rather than letting these thoughts control you and possibly guide you towards a decision you wouldn’t ordinarily make (or a decision YOU are not happy with), start thinking “What would happen if this actually works out?” And, as mentioned earlier, communicate. Instead of just thinking about these “what-ifs,” talk about them, get them out in the open so there is no wondering about them.

Use these 6 common relationship regrets as a guide. Avoid them whenever possible. Maybe you can keep them posted on your refrigerator as a constant reminder for you and your partner. They’ll help you steer your relationship where you want it to go. What other regrets do you think should be included on such a list, please share below.

12/3/2017 8:00:00 AM
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Comments
After being together for 27 years, and Happily Married for 22 of them. I can honestly say your way off base on some of these!

1) denial of happiness...
There are some thing as a single male or female that just simply is not exeptable as in a true and healthy relationship.

Be prepared to make sacrifices on certain things. Ex: you probably won't be going to the nude beach anymore (at least, not alone). Maybe you won't be going to the bars as much (if at all). You deffinantly won't be a visitor at a strip club or an employee (not with being in a healthy relationship also).

2) different values...
This one I believe you have correct. Within your first or second date, you should have already brought up all mentioned areas, I would have added politics in there as well... but...

3) being liked by the family...
Who cares if your family likes them or vise versa? It's not their life. They are living with or sleeping with your partner.

True love is so hard to find. If your one of the lucky ones, embrace them and don't ever let go. Remember every relationship has dry spells and bumpy roads. Hang in there, like everything else in life these times will pass. As far as family... as long as they don't have negative proof (a copy of your others criminal record, list of past marriages, or ligit reasons of concern that over half your family and friends share) of why you shouldn't be with someone, then they should learn to be a little more accepting and you should look at how you turned out so open minded.

4) not expressing feelings.... however they also wrapped in communication in this...

First I can honestly tell you that after 27 almost 28 years of being in the same relationship... That communication is the NUMBER ONE KEY to having any type of long term relationship.

Secondly, I don't know any couple that does not express there feelings to each other. What my wife and I have observed in our lifetime is that either, one of them doesn't listen, or that the other one is so stuck in their ways that they don't correct it.

Either way, it falls back to communication being a key factor.

If you argue, it's because you love each other and have an expectation that isn't being met. Arguing is healthy, and shows you and them they still care enough to do so with you. If you don't love someone, you would just walk away and not give a damn.

5)own interests...

Yes having your own interests is ok, so long as it falls within the parameters of your relationship. Parameters are what's good for the goose is good for the gander. To prevent any arguments, it is possible to make your partner part of what you used to do in your free time. "Time apart is healthy" only if it is what works best for your relationship. In most cases, with most relationships, it leads to arguing, separation, and divorce. Learn how to incorporate your partner into your interest... teach them how to iron, to change a tire, change the oil, cook on a buget or a gormey' dinner, play cards, etc. Or invite a friend to work on the car with you that has a partner that can hang out with yours. Going on 28 years says, it can and does work.

6) the what if's...
Here the writer nailed it dead on.

However, following the golden number one rule of... communication is key... totally takes care of all the what if's.

Note: remember if you are not willing to communicate and change what the problem is in one relationship. There is no need to move onto another one... chances are they won't put up with it either. Leaving you with three honest choices... 1) change what your doing and fix the frying pan your in, 2) don't look for something your not willing to commit to, 3) seek some professional help, your issues my be so deep rooted that some professional rewiring of your thought processes need to be explored.

Also, by no means did anything I said suggest you stay in an abusive relationship (mental or physical). Seek professional help and advice if this is the issue, please.
Posted by Eric LaPointe
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